第10章 决战10
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\\\For my entire existence, I thought I was just one person assuming another vessel.\\\（对于我的整个存在，我以为我只是一个人承担另一个身体。）
\\\but it\\u0027s far more plicated than that.\\\（但事实要比这复杂得多。）
\\\piccolo finally brought his queen to the playing field.\\\（悟空终于把他的皇后带到了棋盘上。）
\\\I am the demon King, the physical manifestation of the darkness lurking in some nameless Namekian\\u0027s heart.\\\（我是魔王，是那个无名邪恶得心脏中黑暗的具象化。）
\\\but at the same time, I\\u0027m not.\\\（但与此同时，我又不是。）
\\\I\\u0027m my own man, with my own desires and goals.\\\（我是我自己的人，有着自己的欲望和目标。）
\\\Gohan harkened back to his conversation with Arepa, where he declared he would defeat Frieza for his own self.\\\（悟饭回想起他与阿瑞帕的对话，他在那里宣称他会为了自己而击败弗利萨。）
\\\After everything that had gone down since, he\\u0027d lost sight of it.\\\（自那以后，他已经迷失了自己的目标。）
\\\I have all of the demon King\\u0027s memories, but they\\u0027re just pictures in my head.\\\（我拥有魔王的所有记忆，但它们只是我脑海中的画面。）
\\\I don\\u0027t feel anything when I recall your father killing him.\\\（当我回想起你的父亲杀死他时，我不会感到任何情绪。）
\\\I desire to defeat Goku not for vengeance, not for world conquest, but simply for my pride as a martial artist.\\\（我渴望击败悟空，不是为了报复，不是为了征服世界，只是为了我作为一个武术家的自尊。）
\\\that\\u0027s why I can\\u0027t accept my victory over him.\\\（这就是为什么我不能接受我对他的胜利。）
\\\piccolo used a pawn to knock off one of Gohan\\u0027s unused pawns.\\\（悟空用一个兵卒击倒了悟饭的一个未使用的兵卒。）
\\\Gohan sighed in frustration.\\\（悟饭叹了口气，感到沮丧。）
\\\that mad scientist offered to turn me into an Android because we had the same goal,\\\ piccolo explained.\\\（那个疯狂的科学家提出将我变成一个人造人，因为我们有着相同的目标，\\\悟空解释道。）
\\\Gohan stiffened at the memory of Lapis.\\\（悟饭对拉皮斯的记忆感到僵硬。）
\\\I refused.\\\（我拒绝了。）
\\\I wouldn\\u0027t take shortcuts and I wouldn\\u0027t defeat Goku as another man\\u0027s pawn.\\\（我不会走捷径，也不会把悟空打败作为别人的棋子。）
\\\Gohan used his queen to knock off one of piccolo\\u0027s pawns.\\\（悟饭用他的皇后击倒了悟空的一个兵卒。）
\\\So then why wake up Lapis and Lazuli?\\\（那么为什么要唤醒拉皮斯和拉祖利呢？）
\\\piccolo set his queen down, thinking the question over.\\\（悟空放下他的皇后，思考着这个问题。）
\\\he anxiously cracked his neck.\\\（他焦虑地扭动着脖子。）
\\\I thought they could handle your father\\u0027s friends.\\\（我以为他们能够对付你父亲的朋友们。）
\\\I didn\\u0027t really know just how powerful they actually were.\\\（我并不真正知道他们实际上有多强大。）
\\\As Gohan moved his queen in front of the king, he wondered if Vegeta had ever expected him to surpass him.\\\（当悟饭把他的皇后移到国王前时，他想知道贝吉塔是否曾经预料到他会超过他。）
\\\he had brought it up once purely out of sight, but Vegeta truly might had feared it, at the very least.\\\（他曾经纯粹出于视线之外提到过这个问题，但贝吉塔可能真的害怕过，至少这样说。）
\\\I\\u0027m lucky they didn\\u0027t kill me once they figured it out.\\\（幸运的是，他们发现后没有杀了我。）
\\\I was pretty rough on them.\\\（我对他们够狠的。）
\\\Gohan knocked over one of piccolo\\u0027s last pawns with his queen while studying his pensive expression.\\\（悟饭用他的皇后击倒了悟空最后的一个兵卒，同时研究着他的思索表情。）
\\\do you regret it?\\\（你后悔吗？）
\\\piccolo narrowed his eyes at Gohan in focus, but diverted his attention towards the board.\\\（悟空专注地瞪着悟饭，但把注意力转向了棋盘。）
\\\his queen had Gohan\\u0027s king trapped.\\\（他的皇后把悟饭的国王困住了。）
\\\check.\\\（将军。）
\\\Gohan looked at the board with a growl.\\\（悟饭咆哮着看着棋盘。）
\\\he was stuck – he could move his queen in front of the king to protect it, but that would be delaying the inevitable.\\\（他陷入了困境-他可以把他的皇后移到国王前保护它，但那只会推迟必然的结果。）
\\\he had no moves left.\\\（他没有棋可走了。）
\\\And thus, he got up and blasted the entire board away.\\\（因此，他站起来把整个棋盘炸毁了。）
\\\And that\\u0027s why I keep having to zap a new one every damn day,\\\ piccolo
grumbled.（这就是为什么我每天都不得不给他们来一记电击的原因。）
\\\You have pawns for a reason.\\\（你有棋子是有原因的。）
\\\Use them.\\\（好好利用它们。）
\\\whatever…\\\ Gohan marched to the lobby, wanting nothing to do with either meditation or piccolo.（无所谓……悟饭走向大厅，不想与冥想或悟空有任何关系。）
\\\Inside the lobby, he stopped at the kitchen table and stared at the blue scouter and the red bag of dragon balls.\\\（在大厅里，他停在厨房的桌子旁，盯着蓝色的探测仪和红色的龙珠袋。）
\\\he took a seat and buried his head in his hand, wondering how much longer this would go on.\\\（他坐下来，将头埋在手中，想知道这种情况还要持续多久。）
\\\but he couldn\\u0027t give up.\\\（但他不能放弃。）
\\\too many people saw the light within him.\\\（太多人看到了他内心的光芒。）
\\\Four months later, Gohan sat in a void for the umpteenth time.\\\（四个月后，悟饭又一次坐在了虚空中。）
\\\his entire body shook as a volatile, green glow surrounded him.\\\（他的整个身体都在颤抖，被一种不稳定的绿色光芒环绕着。）
\\\piccolo had been standing behind him, his eyes on his tail.\\\（悟空一直站在他身后，眼睛盯着他的尾巴。）
\\\he was now on his fifth replacement arm on either side after a few outbursts, and wouldn\\u0027t let it get that far again.\\\（在几次爆发后，他的双侧已经是第五次更换的手臂，他不会再让事情变得那么严重了。）
\\\Gohan!\\\ he shouted.（“悟饭！”他喊道。）
\\\he didn\\u0027t turn around.\\\（他没有转身。）
\\\piccolo patiently exhaled, staying perfectly still.\\\（悟空耐心地呼出一口气，保持完全静止。）
\\\A minute later, Gohan turned around.\\\（一分钟后，悟饭转过身来。）
\\\his eyes were bloodshot, his brows curled in a forlorn whimper.\\\（他的眼睛布满了血丝，眉毛紧锁，发出凄凉的呜咽声。）
\\\he had been sitting in that same position for days, refusing to eat, sleep, or engage with piccolo at all.\\\（他已经坐在那个同样的位置上好几天了，拒绝进食、睡觉或与悟空交流。）
\\\You\\u0027re miserable, kid.\\\（“你很悲惨，孩子。”）
\\\Gohan\\u0027s ragged breaths grew louder.\\\（悟饭的喘息声变得更大声。）
\\\his face carried a mixture of despair, confusion, and exhaustion.\\\（他的脸上带着绝望、困惑和疲惫的混合表情。）
\\\L-Let\\u0027s just go back... I-I can\\u0027t...!\\\（“让我们回去吧...我...我不能...！”）
\\\this is part of the process,\\\ piccolo calmly replied.（“这是过程的一部分，”悟空平静地回答道。）
\\\In this void, you have nothing to distract you.\\\（“在这个虚空中，你没有任何分心的事物。”）
\\\It\\u0027s just you and your thoughts, with no way of leaving the darkest corners.\\\（“只有你和你的思绪，无法离开最黑暗的角落。”）
\\\It\\u0027s not doing anything!\\\ Gohan shouted.（“这一点用都没有！”悟饭喊道。）
\\\You have to confront your lowest thoughts.\\\（“你必须面对自己最低的想法。”）
\\\You don\\u0027t think I wake up in misery every day, either?\\\ piccolo asked.（“你不觉得我每天醒来都是痛苦的吗？”悟空问道。）
\\\constant defeat at your father\\u0027s hands, embarrassment at your hands, wondering if I truly have what it takes.\\\（“不断被你父亲打败，在你手中感到尴尬，不知道我是否真的拥有必要的能力。”）
\\\I am constantly confronted with my futility.\\\（“我不断地面对自己的无用。”）
\\\Shut up!\\\ Gohan snapped.（“闭嘴！”悟饭怒喝道。）
\\\his pupils flickered gold, which made piccolo swallow.\\\（他的瞳孔闪烁着金色，让悟空咽了口水。）
\\\You just sound like Vegeta!\\\（“你听起来就像贝吉塔！”）
\\\when Gohan stood up, piccolo squared his shoulders, knowing what was about to happen.\\\（当悟饭站起来时，悟空挺直了肩膀，知道即将发生什么。）
\\\that green aura exploded around him again.\\\（那股绿色光芒再次在他周围爆发。）
\\\You\\u0027re no different!\\\（“你和他们没什么不同！”）
\\\his eyes became gold again, and a second later he flew at piccolo.\\\（他的眼睛再次变成了金色，一秒钟后他向悟空飞去。）
\\\the Namekian evaded the punch thrown his way by a mere inch and flew away as fast as he could while Gohan broke his fall.\\\（这个纯粹的一英寸闪避了他的一击，而悟饭摔倒了，他尽可能地飞快飞走。）
\\\the rabid teenager had closed the gap soon after, however, and slammed piccolo into the floor with two fists.\\\（然而，这个狂
热的少年很快就缩小了差距，用两只拳头猛击悟空，将他砸到了地板上。）
\\\when piccolo landed, Gohan blasted down with both feet extended, intending to just stomp him into mush.\\\（悟空着陆时，悟饭用两只伸出的脚猛烈地猛踩，打算将他踩成肉泥。）
\\\At the very last second, piccolo jumped out of the way, making Gohan crash-land with his feet stuck in the ground.\\\（在最后一刻，悟空跳了开来，让悟饭在脚卡在地面上的情况下坠落。）
\\\taking advantage, piccolo outstretched his arm and squeezed Gohan\\u0027s tail, bringing him down instantly.\\\（趁机，悟空伸直了胳膊，捏住了悟饭的尾巴，瞬间将他制服。）
\\\piccolo pulled him in with his retracting arm, clutching his burning chest with the other hand.\\\（悟空用收回的胳膊将他拉了进来，另一只手紧紧抓住他灼热的胸口。）
\\\he only had Gohan\\u0027s erratic, error-prone mind state in that form to thank for even being alive.\\\（他只能感谢悟饭那种不稳定、容易出错的心态，才能活下来。）
\\\You have to get a hold of yourself,\\\ piccolo ordered as he felt Gohan\\u0027s energy falling down to normal.（“你必须控制住自己，”悟空命令道，感受到悟饭的能量恢复正常。）
\\\Running does nothing but distance you from your goal.\\\（“逃避只会使你离目标更远。”）
\\\Gohan\\u0027s eyes, jet black again, spilled tears as piccolo let go.\\\（悟饭的眼睛再次变成乌黑的，当悟空松开时，泪水涌出。）
\\\he had been snapping back to normal faster, at least.\\\（至少他恢复正常的速度更快了。）
\\\with a loud shriek, he slammed the ground in frustration.\\\（他沮丧地发出一声尖叫，猛烈地砸向地面。）\\\You want to be two different people, that\\u0027s your problem,\\\ piccolo said.（“你想成为两个不同的人，这就是你的问题，”悟空说道。）
\\\You don\\u0027t want to be that weak, sensitive kid that was taken by Raditz, but you don\\u0027t want to be the monster that\\u0027s murdered trillions either.\\\（“你既不想成为被拉迪茨带走的那个软弱敏感的孩子，又不想成为那个屠戮了无数生命的怪物。”）
\\\You have to find the center.\\\（“你必须找到平衡点。”）
\\\only you know what\\u0027s actually in your heart.\\\（“只有你自己知道你的内心实际上是什么。”）
\\\And if you\\u0027re so set on trying to get the dragon balls to wish people back, you\\u0027re clearly not as bad as you think.\\\（“如果你坚决要去寻找龙珠让人们复活，显然你并没有你所想象的那么坏。”）
\\\bullshit,\\\ Gohan said, his voice heavy.（“胡说八道，”悟饭说道，声音低沉。）
\\\It won\\u0027t change anything! I\\u0027m still him... I\\u0027m still the one who killed them all, even if they e back!\\\（“这不会改变任何事情！我依然是他...我依然是那个杀死他们所有人的人，即使他们复活！”）
\\\well, you have me there,\\\ piccolo quipped, though he was still serious.（“好吧，你说得对，”悟空嘲笑道，尽管他仍然很认真。）
\\\but if you want to continue living, then that means acknowledging your past actions, knowing the reason for those actions, and knowing who you are now.\\\（“但是，如果你想继续活下去，那就意味着承认你过去的行为，了解这些行为的原因，知道你现在是谁。”）
\\\Frieza\\u0027s army must have been a personal hell, but it\\u0027s enabled you to be stronger.\\\（“弗利萨的军队一定是个人的地狱，但它使你变得更强大。”）
\\\tougher.\\\（“更坚强。”）
piccolo grabbed Gohan by his hair and lifted his head up, forcing him to look him in the eye.（悟空抓住悟饭的头发，抬起他的头，强迫他与他对视。）
\\\You are not that kid anymore.\\\（“你不再是那个孩子了。”）
\\\there\\u0027s not a person alive on this planet who can push you around.\\\（“在这个星球上没有人能欺负你。”）
\\\And if you defeat Frieza, you will no longer be bound by any trace of his organization or influence.\\\（“如果你击败弗利萨，你将不再受到他组织或影响的任何束缚。”）
\\\You can be exactly the person you think you should be.\\\（“你可以成为你认为应该成为的人。”）
\\\I\\u0027ll still be a murderer,\\\ Gohan spat through his teeth.（“我依然是一个杀人犯，”悟饭咬牙切齿地说道。）
\\\then change your reputation,\\\ piccolo growled.（“那就改变你的名声，”悟空咆哮道。）
\\\the very concept disgusts me, but if you want to clear your name and prove you\\u0027re better, then don\\u0027t just stop at bringing people back.\\\（“这个概念让我厌恶，但是如果你想洗清你的名声，证明你更好，那就不要仅仅满足于让人复活。”）
\\\help people.\\\（“帮助他人。”）
\\\create a world that isn\\u0027t in danger from people like Frieza, or Vegeta, or me.\\\（“创造一个不会受到弗利萨、贝吉塔或者我这样的人威胁的世界。”）
\\\or who you were forced to be.\\\（“也不会受到你被迫成为的那个人的威胁。”）
piccolo let Gohan go, letting him sink down to the floor.（悟空放开了悟饭，让他沉到了地板上。）
\\\the half-Saiyan didn\\u0027t move, sullenly looking down.\\\（这个半人半赛亚人没有动，郁郁寡欢地低头。）
\\\opting to give him space, piccolo turned around and headed for the lobby.\\\（选择给他空间，悟空转身走向大厅。）
\\\You don\\u0027t have it all figured out, either,\\\ Gohan muttered.（“你也没有完全搞清楚，”悟饭嘀咕着。）
\\\with a vein in his head swelling, piccolo swung back around.\\\（悟空的头脑中的血管膨胀，他又转过身来。）
\\\Gohan\\u0027s face was
neither spiteful nor taunting, just exhausted.\\\（悟饭的脸既不恶毒也不嘲讽，只是疲惫不堪。）
\\\I mean, you\\u0027re mostly there, but... I think you hate the fact that you\\u0027re not as bad as you think.\\\（“我的意思是，你大部分都明白了，但是...我觉得你讨厌你并没有你所想象的那么坏。”）
piccolo frowned deeply; since when had this brat been so lucid?（悟空深深皱起了眉头；这小子什么时候变得如此清醒了？）
\\\Gohan smiled, weakly.\\\（悟饭微笑着，虚弱地。）
\\\You want to be the demon King, but you\\u0027re not.\\\（“你想成为魔王，但你不是。”）
piccolo closed his eyes, despising every single word the kid had spoken.（悟空闭上了眼睛，对这个孩子说的每一个字都感到厌恶。）
\\\with a sigh, he sat down.\\\（他叹了口气，坐了下来。）
\\\So it seems.\\\（“看来是这样。”）
they stayed like that, just sitting down in silence; there was no bickering, no fighting, just peace.（他们就这样静静地坐着，没有争吵，没有打斗，只有平静。）
\\\piccolo intermittently looked up at Gohan, just to see if he was still restless.\\\（“悟空时不时抬头看着悟饭，只是为了看看他是否还是那么焦躁不安。”）
\\\From the outside, he seemed to at least try considering piccolo\\u0027s advice.\\\（从外表上看，他似乎至少试着考虑了悟空的建议。）
\\\the former demon clansmen still couldn\\u0027t wrap his head around things getting to this point – willingly spending time with the son of his lifelong enemy.\\\（这个前魔族成员仍然无法理解事情为何会走到这一步——愿意与他终生的敌人的儿子共度时光。）
\\\being his de facto life coach, even.\\\（甚至成为他的事实上的生活教练。）
\\\the original piccolo – the true piccolo - must have been looking up in disgust.\\\（原本的悟空——真正的悟空——一定对此感到厌恶。）
\\\Ever since you and Vegeta arrived and revealed this Frieza business, I\\u0027ve had this sinking feeling that the end of my life is drawing near.\\\（“自从你和贝吉塔到来并揭示了这个弗利萨的事情以来，我就有一种即将离世的沉重感觉。”）
Gohan looked up, stunned by how piccolo had chosen to break what felt like an hour of silence.（悟饭抬起头，惊讶于悟空选择打破了仿佛已经持续了一个小时的沉默。）
piccolo restlessly squeezed his fists.（悟空焦躁地握紧了拳头。）
\\\It\\u0027s not fear, but more a premonition.\\\（“这不是恐惧，而更像是一种预感。”）
\\\whether it\\u0027s that fossil on the other side of this room finally croaking, or somebody in Frieza\\u0027s army getting me.\\\（“无论是这个房间另一边的那个古董终于死掉了，还是弗利萨的军队中的某个人要害我。”）
\\\I can almost feel it.\\\（“我几乎能感觉到。”）
\\\damn that old bastard and his divine foresight.\\\（“该死的老东西和他的神圣预知。”）
\\\I\\u0027m forced to feel his thoughts.\\\（“我被迫感受到他的思想。”）
\\\that\\u0027s why we keep training,\\\ Gohan said, his voice bolder.（“这就是为什么我们不断训练，”悟饭说道，声音更加坚定。）
\\\I can\\u0027t die.\\\（“我不能死。”）
\\\Not after everything I\\u0027ve gone through.\\\（“不在经历过这一切之后。”）
At least the boy had some level of conviction.（至少这个孩子有一定的信念。）
\\\It was a strange feeling, being able to foresee his own demise even if he didn\\u0027t know how it would e.\\\（“这是一种奇怪的感觉，即使不知道死亡的具体方式，他也能预见自己的死亡。”）
\\\he stared at Gohan\\u0027s tattered, purple uniform with bated breath.\\\（他屏住呼吸盯着悟饭那破烂的紫色制服。）
\\\perhaps on some level, he had wanted to leave something of himself behind.\\\（也许在某种程度上，他希望留下一些自己的东西。）
\\\do you ever wonder about Namek?\\\ Gohan asked.（“你有没有想过那美克星？”悟饭问道。）
\\\planet Vegeta\\u0027s gone, but sometimes I\\u0027m curious about what it\\u0027s like...\\\（“贝吉塔星消失了，但有时我很好奇那里是什么样子的...”）
\\\what\\u0027s there to wonder? I didn\\u0027t even know that part of me until Vegeta broke the news.\\\（“有什么好奇的？我甚至不知道那部分的存在，直到贝吉塔告诉我。”）
\\\I have all of the demon King\\u0027s memories from before his death, and the demon King has all of God\\u0027s memories from before the split.\\\（“我拥有魔王死前的所有记忆，而魔王则拥有在分裂之前的上帝的所有记忆。”）
\\\If I had to guess, the only trace of that planet left is our
language.\\\（“如果我猜的话，那个星球唯一的痕迹就是我们的语言。”）
\\\besides that, it\\u0027s just decades of sitting in some wasteland on Earth.\\\（“除此之外，它只是在地球上的一片荒地上度过的几十年。”）
In truth, he did wonder.（事实上，他确实很好奇。）
\\\what did these Namekians look like? what did they live like? were they an entire planet of meek, faux-philosophical bores like God? were they skilled martial artists? were some of the demon King\\u0027s customs subconscious memories of the planet? had the dragon balls been a subconscious memory?\\\（“那些那美克星人是什么样子的？他们的生活是什么样子的？他们是不是像上帝那样温顺、伪哲学的无聊人？他们是熟练的武术家吗？魔王的一些习俗是对星球的潜意识记忆吗？龙珠是潜意识记忆吗？”）
\\\they were all questions that swirled his mind, much to his chagrin.\\\（“这些问题都在他脑海中回旋，令他感到烦恼。”）\\\Sometimes we fixate on impossible shit, y\\u0027know?\\\ Gohan said.（“有时候我们会固执于不可能的事情，你知道吗？”悟饭说。）
\\\Like, what would my father be like if he never hit his head? It\\u0027s hard to imagine that guy being just as nasty as Vegeta, Nappa, and Raditz.\\\（“比如，如果我父亲没有撞到头，他会是什么样子呢？很难想象那个人会像贝吉塔、纳帕和拉迪茨那样狠毒。”）
piccolo laughed, admittedly having visualized it himself in his idle time over the years.（悟空笑了起来，坦白说他自己在过去的空闲时间里也曾想象过。）
Goku of all people, clad in Saiyan armor with one of those sadistic smirks on his face.（果然，穿着赛亚人盔甲的悟空脸上露出了那种嗜血的笑容。）
A truly absurd, impossible image.（这是一个真正荒谬而不可能的画面。）
\\\I have a feeling your father would have been an idiot all the same,\\\ piccolo replied.（“我有种感觉，你父亲始终都是个白痴。”悟空回答道。）
\\\I wish I could figure out what he really thinks of me,\\\ Gohan said, folding his arms again.（“我希望我能弄清楚他对我的真正看法，”悟饭又折起了双臂。）
\\\he acts like he\\u0027s okay, and maybe he really is, but I know he wishes I wasn\\u0027t…\\\ he spread his arms, gesturing towards his body.（“他表现得好像没事，也许他真的没事，但我知道他希望我不是……”他伸开双臂，指着自己的身体。）
\\\this.\\\（“这个。”）
piccolo shook his head.（悟空摇了摇头。）
\\\Kid, your father damn near sees me as his friend, and I\\u0027ve very literally killed him and threatened everyone he\\u0027s cared about.\\\（“孩子，你父亲几乎把我当成了他的朋友，而我确实曾经杀过他并威胁过他关心的每个人。”）
\\\I highly doubt he truly thinks less of his own seed.\\\（“我非常怀疑他真的会看低自己的后代。”）
\\\Furthermore, why do you care? only you know who you truly are, and your opinion is the only one that actually matters.\\\（“而且，你为什么在意呢？只有你知道你真正是谁，你的意见才是唯一真正重要的。”）
\\\If it weren\\u0027t the case, we wouldn\\u0027t be here right now.\\\（“如果不是这样的话，我们现在就不会在这里了。”）
\\\he\\u0027s my father,\\\ Gohan contested.（“他是我的父亲，”悟饭争辩道。）
\\\I\\u0027m not like you – I still feel the old memories about myself.\\\（“我不像你——我仍然记得自己的旧记忆。”）
\\\I remember how much he and mom used to gush over me.\\\（“我记得他和妈妈曾经有多么喜欢我。”）
\\\I remember…\\\（“我记得……”）
Gohan choked up.（悟饭哽咽了。）
\\\For once, he didn\\u0027t cry, but he had to stop and gather himself.\\\（这一次，他没有哭泣，但他不得不停下来，让自己冷静下来。）
\\\I remember how much I loved them.\\\（“我记得我有多么爱他们。”）
Gohan buried his head in both hands, looking up at the vast walls.（悟饭把头埋在双手之间，抬头望着辽阔的墙壁。）
\\\my mom didn\\u0027t even want me to be a fighter.\\\（“我妈妈甚至不希望我成为一名战士。”）
\\\how I am now? I don\\u0027t know how she\\u0027s even been able to look at me.\\\（“我现在的样子？我不知道她是怎么能看得下去的。”）
piccolo nodded, recalling chi-chi\\u0027s horror and denial when she first saw Gohan for the first time.（悟空点了点头，回想起琪琪第一次见到悟饭时的恐惧和否认。）
\\\She had even tried to attack him for stating the truth of the matter, even without any judgment or condemnation.\\\（“她甚至试图攻击他，仅仅是因为他陈述了事实，没有任何判断或谴责。”）
\\\Vegeta… that\\u0027s the only father figure I\\u0027ve had,\\\ Gohan said with a bitter laugh.（“贝吉塔……那是我唯一的父亲形象，”悟饭苦笑道。）
\\\And I would have killed him, too.\\\（“而且我也会杀了他。”）
\\\You may have been in an unhinged state, but is it really so bad that you would have pursued vengeance towards somebody who\\u0027s subjected you to grief?\\\（“也许你当时情绪失控，但对于那些给你带来痛苦的人，你追求复仇真的那么糟糕吗？”）
\\\You don\\u0027t get it,\\\ Gohan said.（“你不明白。”悟饭说。）
\\\You\\u0027re right.\\\（“你说得对。”）
\\\I do resent him.\\\（“我确实怨恨他。”）
\\\but all that es from that weak little baby that Raditz took.\\\（“但这一切都源于那个拉迪茨带走的弱小的婴儿。”）
\\\Vegeta taught me how to actually be strong.\\\（“贝吉塔教会
了我如何真正变得强大。”）
\\\he\\u0027s saved my life.\\\（“他救了我的命。”）
\\\Even when I thought he didn\\u0027t give a shit about me, he saved Arepa for no reason than to do right by me.\\\（“即使我认为他根本不在乎我，他也救了阿瑞帕，只是为了对我做对的事。”）
\\\that was hardly the first time piccolo had heard Gohan speak that name, Arepa.\\\（这不是悟空第一次听到悟饭说那个名字，阿瑞帕。）
\\\he would frequently say it in his sleep; even during his meditation.\\\（“他经常在睡觉时说出来，甚至在冥想时也会说。”）
\\\clearly, whomever this person was meant a lot to Gohan.\\\（“显然，这个人对悟饭来说意义重大。”）
\\\hell, he might not have been going through all of these struggles if they were around.\\\（“他甚至可能不会经历所有这些挣扎，如果他们在身边的话。”）
\\\we\\u0027re back to square one, then,\\\ piccolo said.（“那么我们又回到原点了。”悟空说。）
\\\there\\u0027s one part of you that resents everything Vegeta put you through, and another part that rejects the very idea.\\\（“你的一部分心里对贝吉塔使你经历的一切怀有怨恨，而另一部分则完全反对这个想法。”）
\\\with Frieza, it\\u0027s simple – he\\u0027s never been anything but terrible, correct?\\\（“对弗利萨来说，这很简单——他从来没有做过任何好事，对吗？”）
Gohan nodded.（悟饭点了点头。）
\\\but from the sound of it, Vegeta is several things to you at once.\\\（“但从你的说法来看，贝吉塔对你来说同时具有多种身份。”）
\\\If you killed Frieza, you would be happy.\\\（“如果你杀了弗利萨，你会感到高兴。”）
\\\If you killed Vegeta, even if you wanted to, you\\u0027d ultimately hate yourself for it.\\\（“即使你想杀贝吉塔，你最终也会憎恨自己。”）
\\\You need to learn how to balance it all out.\\\（“你需要学会如何平衡这一切。”）
Gohan shut his eyes, exhaling through his nose.（悟饭闭上眼睛，通过鼻子呼出气来。）
\\\I guess.\\\（“我想是吧。”）
he kept his eyes closed as a yellow glow enveloped his body.（他闭着眼睛，全身笼罩在黄色的光芒中。）
From the way his Ki felt, piccolo could discern he was making a stronger effort to meditate.（从他的气感觉来看，悟空可以断定他正在更努力地冥想。）
For once, he was actually getting through.（这一次，他真的取得了进展。）
Gohan flew as fast as he could, evading the stretchy green arms pursuing his legs.（悟饭以最快的速度飞行，躲避着追逐他的拉长的绿色手臂。）
the further he flew, the chillier his body became.（他飞得越远，他的身体就越寒冷。）
he turned around and fired a blast, but piccolo easily kicked it away.（他转身发射了一道能量波，但悟空轻易地踢开了它。）
A split-second later, the Namekian was right in front of him and delivered a brutal kick to his jaw.（一刹那后，这个纳美克星人就站在他面前，给了他一记狠狠的踢击。）
Gohan dropped down, breaking his fall with a flip to land on his feet.（悟饭落了下来，用翻身来缓冲着落，稳稳地站在脚上。）
It was month nine, from Gohan\\u0027s estimation.（从悟饭的估计来看，这已经是第九个月了。）
he could feel his body growing, and it had often been a painful experience even if he came out stronger for it.（他能感觉到自己的身体在成长，这常常是一种痛苦的经历，尽管他因此变得更强大。）
A month earlier, piccolo had to zap a new uniform for him after his body ripped through the older one.（一个月前，悟空的身体撕裂了旧的制服，悟空不得不给他传送了一套新的制服。）
Now 14 years old, his voice was just a tad deeper and scratchier too.（现在14岁了，他的声音稍微低沉和嘶哑了一些。）
but that wasn\\u0027t the most annoying development.（但这不是最令人讨厌的事情。）
with ample time to train in heavier gravity and erratic conditions while Gohan meditated, piccolo had bee a truly worthy opponent.（在悟饭冥想时，悟空有充足的时间在更重的重力和不稳定的环境中进行训练，因此悟空已经成为了一个真正的强大对手。）
Save for Gohan\\u0027s lapses of rage that drove him to that insidious transformation, their spars were no longer one-sided beatdowns.（除了悟饭因愤怒而发生的那种邪恶的转变之外，他们的格斗已经不再是一方面的压倒性胜利。）
despite all of his identity issues, Gohan knew one thing for certain – he was a Saiyan, and wouldn\\u0027t accept anybody besting him in battle.（尽管悟饭存在着诸多身份
问题，但他确信一件事——他是一个赛亚人，不会接受任何人在战斗中胜过他。）
And thus, he flew right back at piccolo.（因此，他直接向悟空飞去。）
the two warriors in purple met in a clash, exchanging a flurry of attacks with petitive smirks on their faces.（这两位身着紫色的战士在一次冲突中相遇，他们的脸上带着竞争的笑容，交换着一连串的攻击。）
In many ways, the constant sparring had dulled their hostility.（从许多方面来看，不断的切磋已经减轻了他们之间的敌意。）
Unfortunately for Gohan, the increasingly cold weather had taken a toll, sapping him of his energy.（不幸的是，越来越冷的天气对悟饭产生了影响，耗尽了他的能量。）
piccolo, on the other hand, hadn\\u0027t even registered the weather thus far and knocked Gohan all the way down to the floor.（另一方面，悟空甚至没有注意到这种天气，把悟饭打倒在地。）
he landed on his feet again, panting heavily as he looked up.（他再次站起来，大口喘着气，抬头看着前方。）
Vapors left his mouth with every breath.（每一次呼吸，他的嘴里都冒着水蒸气。）
the Namekian phased in front of him and aimed a kick at his chest.（纳美克星人出现在他面前，朝他的胸口踢去。）
while Gohan blocked it with his forearm, he flew away in lieu of triggering another exchange of punches and kicks.（尽管悟饭用前臂挡住了它，但他却飞离了现场，以避免引发另一轮拳脚交锋。）Flying brought Gohan further into the cold depths, however.（然而，飞行将悟饭带入了更加寒冷的深处。）
his entire body shivered, having never experienced conditions this frigid in his time in the room.（他的整个身体颤抖着，从未在房间里经历过如此寒冷的条件。）
with his energy running low, he could do little to resist the punch piccolo delivered to his stomach, falling to the floor while feeling bile rise to his throat.（能量所剩无几，他几乎无力抵抗悟空对他的一击，摔倒在地上，感觉胆汁上涌到喉咙。）
\\\You humans and your skin,\\\ piccolo taunted.（\\\你们人类和你们的皮肤，\\\悟空讥笑道。）
\\\c-can\\u0027t handle a little chill.\\\（\\\连一点点寒冷都受不了。\\\）
of course, even piccolo had a slight shiver, which underscored just how absurdly cold the atmosphere had bee.（当然，即使是悟空也微微颤抖了一下，这凸显了大气层变得多么寒冷。）
Loathe to put up with his mockery, Gohan tried leaping up to prove him wrong, but there was only one problem – his foot wouldn\\u0027t leave the ground.（悟饭不愿忍受他的嘲笑，试图跳起来证明他错了，但问题只有一个——他的脚无法离开地面。）
when he looked down, his gut wrenched.（当他低头看时，他的内心感到绞痛。）
Ice had taken hold of his foot.（冰已经固定住了他的脚。）
he tried to break free, but it wouldn\\u0027t budge.（他试图挣脱，但它不动。）
piccolo flew at him, but Gohan frantically blasted him to send him away.（悟空飞向他，但悟饭疯狂地发射能量把他击退。）
the ice began to spread through his entire leg, even though he could only feel it around his foot.（冰开始蔓延到他整条腿，尽管他只能感觉到它围绕着他的脚。）
he looked at his arms – both now enshrouded in ice.（他看着自己的手臂——现在都被冰覆盖着。）
Shrieking in panic, Gohan somehow broke his foot free from his shoe and flew as far away from the era as he could, as fast as he could.（悟饭惊慌地尖叫着，不知怎么地将脚从鞋子中挣脱出来，尽可能远、尽可能快地飞离了那个地方。）
Eventually, his energy ran out and he collapsed, falling onto his hands and knees on the floor.（最终，他的能量耗尽了，他倒在地板上，跪在地上。）
his body was shaking as he desperately heaved for oxygen, running ragged even after adjusted to the thin air.（他的身体颤抖着，拼命地呼吸着氧气，即使适应了稀薄的空气，仍然筋疲力尽。）
his heart pounded in his chest as nightmares of the all-enpassing ice consumed him.（他的心在胸腔里砰砰直跳，全面覆盖的冰带给他噩梦。）
he hadn\\u0027t even realized that the rest of his limbs were actually fine, and that only the one shoe he had left behind had actually been caught.（他甚至没有意识到自己的其他四肢其实没事，只有他留下的那只鞋子被冰所困住了。）
\\\what the hell\\u0027s the matter with you?\\\ piccolo asked, flying back in.（\\\你到底怎么了？\\\悟空问道，飞回来。）
\\\Your foot got frozen up. big deal.\\\（\\\你的脚被冻住了，没什么大不了的。\\\）
\\\the ice…!\\\ Gohan whimpered. \\\It was…it was…\\\（\\\冰……！\\\悟饭哀嚎道，\\\它……它……\\\）
\\\was what?\\\ piccolo asked. \\\It was hardly a threat. Your own energy could have put it away.\\\（\\\是什么？\\\悟空问道，\\\它几乎算不上威胁。你自己的能量本来可以把它消灭的。\\\）
whatever piccolo was saying, Gohan didn\\u0027t register.（无论悟空说什么，悟饭都没有听进去。）
the sound of his own heartbeat had drowned everything else out.（他自己心跳的声音淹没了其他一切声音。）
Feeling his grip slip again brought tears to the boy\\u0027s eyes.（再次感到手的控制力减弱让悟饭的眼睛湿润了。）
how could this still be happening? After months of isolation, he still wasn\\u0027t anywhere close.（这怎么还会发生？经过数月的孤立，他仍然没有丝毫进展。）
\\\what\\u0027s going on, really?\\\ piccolo asked.（\\\到底发生了什么？\\\悟空问道。）
\\\I highly doubt you\\u0027re that freaked out just over some ice.\\\（\\\我非常怀疑你就因为一些冰而害怕成这样。\\\）
\\\I can\\u0027t,\\\ Gohan groaned. \\\I can\\u0027t…do it…it\\u0027s not enough!\\\（\\\我不行，\\\悟饭呻吟道，\\\我不行……做不到……还不够！\\\）
\\\what\\u0027s wrong?!\\\ piccolo demanded. \\\You can\\u0027t keep bottling it up.\\\（\\\
怎么了？！\\\悟空要求道，\\\你不能一直憋着。\\\）
\\\It\\u0027s Frieza!\\\ Gohan finally choked out.（\\\是弗利沙！\\\悟饭终于喘不过气来说出来。）
\\\Frieza…ice. tch. how banal.\\\（\\\弗利沙……冰。呸，多么平庸。\\\）
\\\You don\\u0027t fucking get it!\\\ Gohan snapped, sitting back up.（\\\你他妈的根本不懂！\\\悟饭怒斥道，重新坐直。）
he finally realized that his arms were still normal, though he kept moving them around to make sure.（他终于意识到他的手臂还是正常的，尽管他不停地摆动着手臂以确保。）
\\\You didn\\u0027t see Frieza turn a man\\u0027s arm into ice and destroy it!\\\（\\\你没看到弗利沙把一个人的手臂变成冰然后摧毁吗！\\\）
\\\what?\\\ piccolo asked, caught off-guard. Even he sounded fearful.（\\\什么？\\\悟空吃了一惊，甚至他听起来都很害怕。）
Gohan wiped off his eyes as his body kept shaking.（悟饭擦去眼睛，身体不停地颤抖着。）
piccolo was right – he couldn\\u0027t keep bottling everything up.（悟空说得对——他不能一直憋着。）
\\\It\\u0027s been almost ten years…and I still can\\u0027t get it out of my head. I keep seeing everything I care about getting destroyed like that.\\\（\\\已经快十年了……可我还是无法忘怀。我一直都看到我所关心的一切都被摧毁成那样。\\\）
\\\So it\\u0027s Frieza\\u0027s power you fear,\\\ piccolo deduced.（\\\所以你害怕的是弗利沙的力量，\\\悟空推断道。）
\\\I thought I was getting somewhere…\\\ Gohan lamented. \\\Ever since that day, every time I think I\\u0027m turning a corner, that fucking ice keeps reminding me. that happened right after I took a whole army out by myself. It was the first time I ever actually felt strong for once. I wasn\\u0027t crying or getting pushed around. I even saved Vegeta\\u0027s life…\\\（\\\我以为我已经取得了一些进展……\\\悟饭哀叹道，\\\自从那天以来，每当我觉得我正在转过一个弯时，这该死的冰就会提醒我。那发生在我独自击败一整支军队之后。那是我第一次真正感到自己很强大。我没有哭泣，没有被推来推去。我甚至还救了贝吉塔的命……\\\）
he clenched his fist, trying to grasp that feeling of invincibility again. \\\It could\\u0027ve all been over. Right in the aftermath, my father made that wish to bring me back. the dragon even asked my permission.\\\（他握紧拳头，试图再次抓住那种无敌的感觉，\\\一切都可能结束了。就在之后，我的父亲许愿让我回来。龙甚至询问了我的意愿。\\\）
\\\Seriously?\\\ Gohan answered with a nod. \\\It could\\u0027ve been all over. I would\\u0027ve been back here without a trace, but I turned it down. I bought into everything. I wanted to feel strong, I wanted to keep taking people down until I got to Frieza, and then I realized I wasn\\u0027t anywhere fucking close.\\\（\\\真的？\\\悟饭点头回答，\\\一切都可能结束了。我会毫不留痕地回到这里，但我拒绝了。我相信了一切。我想感到强大，我想一直击败人们直到我打到弗利沙，然后我意识到我一点也不接近。\\\）
he viciously punched his own foot, nearly cracking his knuckles. \\\don\\u0027t you see now?! this was all my choice! I chose to keep doing this \\u0027cause deep down, I liked it. And it\\u0027s not even enough.\\\（他狠狠地揍了自己的脚，几乎把指关节弄裂了，\\\你现在难道不明白吗？！这都是我的选择！因为我内心深处喜欢，我选择继续这样做。可还远远不够。\\\）
A sharp pain stabbed at Gohan\\u0027s head like a series of icepicks, forcing him to rub his temple.（剧痛刺痛着悟饭的头，就像一系列冰锥，迫使他揉了揉太阳穴。）
\\\Everyone will die because of me…even if we managed to beat Frieza.\\\（\\\每个人都会因为我而死……即使我们设法击败了弗利沙。\\\）
\\\So, the ice holds it all, then,\\\ piccolo said. \\\Everything you hate, everything you fear.\\\（\\\所以，冰包容了一切，\\\悟空说道，\\\你所讨厌的一切，你所害怕的一切。\\\）
\\\Everything I love…\\\ Gohan blurted out.（\\\还有我所爱的一切……\\\悟饭脱口而出。）
It wasn\\u0027t just fear that the ice made Gohan recall. It was Arepa and her pale, blue eyes.（冰让悟饭回忆起来的不仅仅是恐惧，还有阿瑞帕和她苍白的蓝眼睛。）
A day may have only been going on outside, but he still had no idea if she was well or not.（外面可能只过了一天，但他仍然不知道她是否安好。）
She had been dragged into his life, and his fight, because
of that same assault on Kabnet\\u0027s empire.（正是因为对卡布尼特帝国的袭击，她被卷入了他的生活和战斗中。）
the eyes that granted Arepa her beauty had cursed her to suffer the consequences of Gohan\\u0027s actions.（给阿瑞帕带来美丽的眼睛却诅咒她要承受悟饭行动的后果。）